I finally sat down to try the afternoon tea at sketch menu, and honestly, the whole experience is just as theatrical as everyone says it is. If you've spent any time on social media looking for "must-visit" spots in London, you've definitely seen the photos of the velvet chairs and those weirdly famous egg-shaped toilets. But beyond the aesthetics, there's a lot going on with the actual food and the way the service flows that you don't always catch in a 15-second reel.
Walking into Mayfair and heading toward Conduit Street, you sort of expect something stuffy, but Sketch isn't like that at all. It's eccentric, a bit loud, and definitely doesn't take itself too seriously. When you get seated in The Gallery—which recently traded its iconic millennial pink for a warm, sunny gold theme—you realize you aren't just there for a snack. You're there for a full-on production.
The setting and the vibe
Before we even get to the tea, we have to talk about the room. The Gallery is where the main tea service happens, and it's massive. The walls are covered in artwork (usually by David Shrigley or Yinka Shonibare), and the copper-toned lights make everyone look like they've got a professional filter on.
It's busy, though. Don't go expecting a quiet, hushed library vibe. There's usually a live string trio playing modern pop songs, which gives it a "Bridgerton" feel but with a bit more edge. The staff are dressed in these incredible grey uniforms that look like something out of a high-fashion sci-fi movie. It sets the stage perfectly for the afternoon tea at sketch menu because, right from the start, you know this isn't your grandma's tea room.
Starting with the savories
Most places just bring out a three-tiered stand and call it a day, but here, it starts a bit differently. One of the first things they bring out is the "Egg and Soldiers." But because it's Sketch, it's not just a boiled egg. It's a creamy Comté cheese mornay with a 63-degree egg yolk and a little bit of caviar on top. They serve it with these crunchy little soldiers for dipping. It's rich, salty, and basically the best way to kick things off.
Once you've finished that, the actual stand arrives. The bottom tier is usually loaded with finger sandwiches, but they aren't the soggy, boring kind you find at a cheap buffet.
A twist on the classics
The sandwich selection on the afternoon tea at sketch menu changes seasonally, but there are some staples that always seem to make an appearance. You'll usually find: * Cucumber and asparagus: Super fresh and light, usually with a bit of creamy ricotta. * Truffle croque monsieur: This is a warm, gooey, decadent little bite that I could honestly eat ten of. * Salmon and herbed cream cheese: Usually served on a darker, malted bread that has a nice bite to it. * Coronation chicken: This one usually has a bit of a spicy kick and some crunch from almonds or dried fruit.
The best part? You can actually ask for refills on the sandwiches. I wouldn't recommend going too overboard, though, because there's a massive amount of sugar coming your way later.
Those famous scones
You can't have tea without scones, and these come out wrapped in a thick white napkin to keep them warm. I'm a bit of a purist when it comes to scones—they have to be crumbly on the outside but soft in the middle—and Sketch hits the mark.
You get both plain and sultana scones, served with the holy trinity of toppings: Cornish clotted cream, strawberry jam, and sometimes a seasonal preserve like lemon curd or apricot. There's always a debate about whether the cream or jam goes on first, but honestly, as long as you've got a thick layer of both, you're doing it right. The scones are usually smaller than what you'd get in a countryside tea room, which is a blessing because by this point, you'll start to feel pretty full.
The sweets and patisserie
The top tier of the stand is where the pastry chefs really get to show off. The afternoon tea at sketch menu is famous for its "Petit Gâteaux," which basically look like tiny pieces of art.
You'll usually get four or five different items. On my last visit, there was a tiny chocolate and caramel tart that was so rich it felt like a meal on its own, a delicate passion fruit sponge, and a little pistachio macaron that was perfectly chewy. They also usually do a "slice of the day" from a larger cake—sometimes a traditional Victoria sponge or a decadent red velvet.
The flavors are bold, and they aren't afraid to use acidity to cut through all the sugar. That's something I really appreciate; sometimes afternoon tea can just feel like a sugar overload, but the fruit elements here keep things balanced.
Let's talk about the tea
The tea list is actually pretty intimidating. It's pages and pages long, ranging from your standard Breakfast Tea to some really obscure Oolongs and herbal infusions. If you aren't a tea expert, don't be afraid to ask the servers for a recommendation.
I went with a smoky Earl Grey which paired perfectly with the chocolatey desserts, but they also have some really cool blooming teas that look great in the pot. If you're feeling fancy, you can upgrade to the "Champagne Afternoon Tea," and they'll bring out a glass of Pommery to start things off. It's an extra cost, obviously, but if you're celebrating a birthday or an anniversary, it definitely adds to the "wow" factor.
The egg pod bathrooms
I know it sounds weird to talk about bathrooms in a food article, but you literally cannot go to Sketch without visiting the pods. You head up a white staircase that looks like it belongs on a spaceship, and you find a room full of white, egg-shaped cubicles.
There's usually a soundscape playing—like bird noises or rainforest sounds—and the ceiling is made of multicolored glass tiles. It's the most photographed bathroom in London for a reason. Even if you don't actually "need" to go, just go in there to wash your hands so you can see the madness for yourself.
Is it worth the price?
Let's be real: the afternoon tea at sketch menu isn't cheap. You're looking at anywhere from £80 to over £100 per person depending on whether you're doing the champagne option. For that kind of money, you're paying for the atmosphere, the location, and the sheer effort that goes into the presentation.
Is the food better than a high-end bakery? It's great, but you're mostly paying for the "experience." It's a two-hour escape into a weird, colorful world where people treat you like royalty. If you're a foodie who loves a bit of kitsch and doesn't mind a loud, vibrant environment, it's absolutely worth doing at least once.
Just a pro tip: make sure you book well in advance. Even with the hefty price tag, this place is packed every single day. If you try to walk in on a Saturday afternoon, you'll probably be disappointed. But if you manage to snag a table, wear something nice, bring your camera, and make sure you show up hungry. You're going to need the stomach space.